Mother and Son Chat About Cutting The Sausage....

My son was never as entertained as he was today when we unexpectedly had a chat about his upcoming circumcision. The conversation was prompted by a comment on this topic on the radio after we dropped his sisters off at school.

I asked if he knew what this was...yes he said and explained it. When I first mentioned how this was relevant for him erupted: “there’s no way I’m doing that, what about the pain and how am I expected to pee”.  Realising I wasn’t doing well I used baby Jesus, I thought explaining His circumcision easier, its too complex to go into all the tribal customs and it would in all probability scare him off so I used religion.

So persuasively I said, well at least if we do it now I’m sure it will be under anaesthesia. Eagerly he responded: so I won’t feel it – well I suppose that’s ok, and because I’m not a doctor I backtracked trying to cover my tracks and said, well I hope you won’t be awake but if not asleep I think your sausage will definitely be. At this he giggled to no end, because I went on further to say inducing sausage sleep might be done my injecting the anaesthesia somewhere in its vicinity and so for a while he may not even know that he has one. If I knew this is what it would take to make my normally calm, cool as a cucumber son to get into a fit of uncontrollable laughter I may have had this conversation with him sooner.

I further explained to him that at least he was lucky because come the age of 18 he would have had to go through a rite of passage (embellishment). I would have had to send him to my former home in the rural villages of the Eastern Cape and then as a young man he’d have go deep in the forest to stand in line with other boys his age. Here he would bear his family jewels and a man would come down the line with a butcher knife and swiftly pull and chop, like a Japanese chef preparing sushi (it was much funnier when instead of chop I said qups, using our click version of the q).
This of course is all true but would not necessarily be practised by yours truly. All he said when he caught his breath was: “BOY AM I GLAD I DON’T LIVE IN THAT VILLAGE!!!!!”.

I cropped the bottom bit out because I didn't put an adult content
warning on this postbut if enough people are curios or interested,
I can do a whole post on Xhosa Circumcision, just let me know in comments

When you are a mother I believe you have exclusive rights to: the end justifies the means.
This is a controversial topic I know but my reasons for insisting on it are not so much cultural than pragmatic: 1. It’s just healthy 2. is aesthetic appeal (I know gross coming from his mom)  and 3. an early wedding present to my daughter in law who I’m sure will be grateful forever and eternity, whichever comes first.
I’m a mom,. so I think I’m allowed to chat about these things right? Have you had these with your son and hopefully NOT daughter as its been known to happen?