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Yesterday while on twitter and came across Sochi Azuh and found his very entertaining attempt at
poetry. It actually made me chuckle so I thought it may do the same for you too.
A BEGINNER’S LIVE GUIDE BAD ARSE SLAM
Dear reader, further to our previous chapter
We shall now proceed to our subject matter;
Though not guaranteed to make your rhymes smarter
It will break your fall if you should shudder, stutter and falter
Don’t chew, don’t sag – God, please don’t sag
Unless your poetry can afford you a Bentley or a Jag
Pick up modest verbs where your painted tears once fell
And please use adjectives that your mother can actually spell
As thumb rule, dear reader, KEEP YOUR SHIRT ON
Audience, as their sanity, are in habit of going off with your button
So while good if you, like IKECHUKWU, have a six-pack that can stun
God help us, if it’s a one-pack that smacks of bad porn
A black shirt, has been the best bet yet
Anything you say afterwards is politically correct
But PINK – oh no! is as weak as you can get
It says, “I’m too sissy for my shirt”
Having said this, disabuse the psyche
That you are only a rockstar if you lick the mic
Or jump into the crowd or ride a power bike
The truth is the audience will not catch even a poet they like
And when you walk up to that mic, go in hard
Say, “ME BAD! ME THE BADDEST DUB YOU EVER HAD!”
So, in case you mess up real bad, we like to add
Your audience, hopefully, won’t remember you like a bad TV ad.
Dear reader, further to our previous chapter
We shall now proceed to our subject matter;
Though not guaranteed to make your rhymes smarter
It will break your fall if you should shudder, stutter and falter
Don’t chew, don’t sag – God, please don’t sag
Unless your poetry can afford you a Bentley or a Jag
Pick up modest verbs where your painted tears once fell
And please use adjectives that your mother can actually spell
As thumb rule, dear reader, KEEP YOUR SHIRT ON
Audience, as their sanity, are in habit of going off with your button
So while good if you, like IKECHUKWU, have a six-pack that can stun
God help us, if it’s a one-pack that smacks of bad porn
A black shirt, has been the best bet yet
Anything you say afterwards is politically correct
But PINK – oh no! is as weak as you can get
It says, “I’m too sissy for my shirt”
Having said this, disabuse the psyche
That you are only a rockstar if you lick the mic
Or jump into the crowd or ride a power bike
The truth is the audience will not catch even a poet they like
And when you walk up to that mic, go in hard
Say, “ME BAD! ME THE BADDEST DUB YOU EVER HAD!”
So, in case you mess up real bad, we like to add
Your audience, hopefully, won’t remember you like a bad TV ad.
