Sabbaticals, Babies and Naija to SA

It’s a year and two months since I started this blog. 

It was the genesis of my blogging career and online life. 

However, I recently had to make some very tough decisions about it. I’ve been between the devil and the deep blue sea for the longest time and its just not working out. Many promises brocken, schedules unkept have to lead to wake up calls at some point. 

So the decision is to streamline my online life which is currently all over the place at the moment. I can’t keep up with my online social obligations.

So this is the plan:

1. Fabulosity Nouveau (this blog) will be going on sabbatical for a period of six months with the possibility of extending to a year. One of my New Year resolutions is to work harder this year towards my finances and the other is to be more physically present to engage more with the world around me. I’m finding it hard to do all that and maintain the same momentum with my online presence. As a result this blog suffers.
2. Deactivate my personal Facebook  account and only maintain the one for Fabulosity Reads. I have a lot to download here to ensure I do not lose precious information so it may take a couple of weeks but in that time i’d also like my friends to switch over. So if you are my friend at Wendy Ewurum on Facebook then please send me a friend invite on Fabulosity Reads or like my page FabulosityReads4U.
3. This also means cancelling my participation on the A-Z challenge this year. But this just cannot be helped.

Now on to other news:

I know there will be times when I’ll be tempted to come back here because there are just some things that don’t fit well in the book review blog and I promise to try to not cave in thereby confusing you all. Well except on maybe two occasions:

1. We are expecting a new arrival in the family soon so I’d love to introduce you to her when she finally makes the big entrance. This I definitely have to share with you.
2. A friend is going to the Beer Fest in Germany in June and I am sooooo jealous but despite this debilitating emotion I will share a post about her experience with pictures and events when she’s there. If only to drool over it all.

Long overdue feedback:

The last some of you heard from me was when you were wishing me well with my permanent move to Nigeria. Well it was as permanent as any sane person can make it. Three months later, on the day my visa expired I and the kids were on plane back home.

Don’t get me completely wrong. 

Nigeria would be great to visit for a very short holiday say two weeks but for anything longer I imagine you have to grow hair on your teeth to survive. Especially if you come from a progressive country. It was the hardest three months of my life and all can say is God Bless South Africa number one and number two I understand the Nigerians wonderlust now. 

None the less, the experience was a huge eye opener not to mention an exceedingly expensive experiment that has left my hubby so disappointed but I’m ever so glad I did it in my younger years if you call mid thirties young.Well compared to doing it at 45 years I suppose it is.

Thanks to Special People

I do want to thank my special blog friend Misha, Sochi Azuh and J.L Campbell whom I bitched and moaned on when I felt I was going to die of depression. I’ve never met any of them but that’s the wonderful thing about blogging, you don’t need a face to face experience with someone for them to care for you. 

I also published a number of very depressing posts at that time and my blog friends here always had a word of wisdom or encouraging advise. I'm thinking of the likes of Karen Gowen, Tirzah Goodwin, Kiru Taye, etc. All of you guys are very special to me. Thank you.

Au Revior

Anyway I think I’ve covered what I had to for now. Fabulosity Nouveau wishes you love, happiness and success for the rest of this year and may we see each other again soon. 

To follow me on my other blog please visit Fabulosityread.blogspot.com. I promise to follow back when you do.

Fabulosity Reads is a book review blog where I do author interviews, guest blogging and Giveaways as well. I’ve thinking of resurrecting my art and galleries page with a theatre feature since I’ll be visiting these frequently soon.

Thank you to all the blog friends and followers I've met through my blogging journey and who stuck by my craziness, supersized ego and bottomless insecurities. You made me feel extraordinary.  

All my love.

Wendy Ewurum

Poetry Friday: The Tiger by William Blake

Some poems you fall inlove with because of the beautiful and creative use of words. 

Sometimes the poem itself even loses its meaning and wholeness because of how much the audience appreciates one aspect, such as the sound of the words in this case. 

I was watching the Mentalist the other day and the first stanza of William Blakes Tiger was recited by Patrick Jane whom I think is simply drool worthy by the way. 

Anyway it somehow stuck in my mind for days and a few days later having posted it on my Facebook wall someone commented that it was their most favourite nursery rhyme. Nursery Rhyme? Imagine that. I did this poem as part of my set-work in my senior year of high school. 

But when I read it again I realised on hindsight, that it was possible for it to have evolved into a nursery rhyme because those first lines are so beautiful mysterious and catchy. But it would really be such a pity of the reader never got to appreciate the depth of meaning and craftsmanship that went into the the rest of this poem.

What are you thoughts on it?

William Blake. 1757–1827 

 

TIGER, tiger, burning bright  

In the forests of the night,  

What immortal hand or eye  

Could frame thy fearful symmetry?  

In what distant deeps or skies         5

Burnt the fire of thine eyes?  

On what wings dare he aspire?  

What the hand dare seize the fire?  

And what shoulder and what art  

Could twist the sinews of thy heart?  10

And when thy heart began to beat,  

What dread hand and what dread feet?  

What the hammer? what the chain?  

In what furnace was thy brain?  

What the anvil? What dread grasp  15

Dare its deadly terrors clasp?  

When the stars threw down their spears,  

And water'd heaven with their tears,  

Did He smile His work to see?  

Did He who made the lamb make thee?  20

Tiger, tiger, burning bright  

In the forests of the night,  

What immortal hand or eye  

Dare frame thy fearful symmetry?

Intelligence and Politics Can Good Bed Mates Make

There is so much going on in the world around me but at times I'm so focused on our own business I miss it all.

Today I listened to an hour interview with a politician for the very first time. I actually just wanted to see what was going on in the news, another rare curiosity and when I switched on the telly there she was. Our "notorious" Helen Zille. She's been nicknamed godzille but I think that's only because she's a straight shooter. She calls a pade a spade, the say it like it is type. 

Anyway I loved her TV interview. She was on her toes, knows her business, can account for hers and her parties actions and although it was open panel type and therefore the questions were impromptu both from the instudio audience and public (the public tweeted) she had great answers, she sounded articulate and transparent.

Now this is the first time my interest has ever been held by any talk or interview that is remotely political so I don't know much about Zille. However, after the interview I was left with the commitment to myself that when next an opportunity to vote was there, I would seize it. My right hasn't been practised since the first election I'm ashamed to say. I have been a very bad citizen.

I realise now though that there really are viable alternatives to the current diabolical governing body. The job is for me the citizen to take an interest in finding out about them. Oh and hope that should whoever I vote for next come to power, they will not also lose themselves in the power high and continue the craze.

What's happening in the political scene in your area do you know?

Get Your Relationship Out Of the Doldrums by Dr. Eve

I love radio shows as opposed to tv shows.

Perhaps because they require only my ears and allow better multitaking.

And I mention this today because one of my favourite talk radio stations (702FM) features the highly esteemed Dr. Eve on Fridays, a show I always look forward to.

She is a relationship and sexual health expert and holds very, very interesting adult discussions. She talks about those things that men and women just do not talk about which affect them emotionally and physically but would never dare to admit to anyone that knows them.

As part of a couple I must say my interest is always peaked when I come across such persons as herself.

Call it gathering ammunition or whatever but there you are. 

I find marriage like parenthood, to be an expedition of trail and error. Most times it is a wonderful and completely fulfilling experience. Sometimes tests come along and they are relatively easy to overcome and life moves on smoothly, hardly showing a dent and other times **shrugs**. Well, lets just say I find I need something extra to hold it all together with,  in order to pass some tests. 

Especially as we grow not only as a couple but as individuals. I constantly find myself having to adjust to changes within me and him and our marriage. You'll notice I keep saying I because even now I'm not 100% sure how he copes with these continues adjustments but he seems to do it with a lot more finesse than I. Do I sense an underlying dissonance?

Most people I come across on blogs, when they talk about their relationships I get these visions of blissful marriages and relationships  and I wonder to myself. What am I doing wrong?

Am I the only person living on planet earth and finds marriage both rosy and thorny or am I just the dysfunctional wicked witch of the west that my poor husband got saddled with? No don't answer that, we may have to take out the Vaseline of you do. hehehe.

Anyway I'm saying all this today because I  came across this article written by Dr. Eve and thought well, maybe its not just me. The mere fact that there are people going out to become doctors and specialists in this  area must mean there is demand. Perhaps other people in my position are just better at keeping it to close to their chests. And I should have you know that albeit my chest being ample, it is so hollow I can't even keep my own confidence in it. Hence this very revealing post, do you see the problem?

Getting back to the reason for this post. I apologise for the extensive length of it firstly. Way too much said but I hope if you decide to read it all the way to the end, you'll find it worthwhile.

Get Your Relationship Out Of the Doldrums by Dr. Eve

Perhaps you think you have  a sexual dysfunction.

That's the main reason people consult with me. They get pretty mad when the work becomes about the relationship. Commonly couples sit on my therapy couch as their relationship is in the doldrums.Sexual difficulties are usually the result of relationship doldrums.

Ask yourself: did you choose your partner for other reasons other than passion? Problem with this is that the longer one is in a relationship the more the passion dies.So if passion did not form a firm foundation for you then you will find yourself in relationship doldrums pretty soon into marriage/relaitonship.

Did you choose  a partner for passion? Aha another kind of doldrums awaits you: deadbrain , lack of companionship syndrome.

Herewith a quickie guide to get you out of relationship doldrums: Add your own thoughts to each sub heading and share with a partner for optimal results.

Notice and Appreciate: complacency is a passion killer

I use the 3 A’s formula: appreciate, acknowledge, admire. Use technology to do this so relationship does not feel like hard work at the end of the day. So easy to do this via text , e mail, skype, facebook etc- whatever your technical drug of choice is

Be healthy: 

check that there aren't any medical issues which could be interfering with your sex life. That includes knowing your HIV/STI status. Of course  regular exercise, regular sex, regular eating.

Vitally important: each person in a relationship has an obligation to be healthy: illness impacts on the other person and  poor life style causes resentment such as excessive drinking, smoking , high body mass index. Resentment causes low sexual interest in both men and women.

Know how you each feel:

Mind mapping is an essential automatic part of relating. Hone in on your mind mapping skills so you get to know what your partner is thinking. Follow your mind mapping with discussion so you really knwo if you are getting each other or not.

 Each person in relationship has a commitment to know one's own sexuality- likes and dislikes. As these change over time, one needs to be in the loop with one’s own self sexually. Otherwise true doldrum sets in.

Exposure to erotic material, interesting conversations about sexuality, exploring on internet  great sites give people an idea what they want individually - and then the responsibility is to share with partner.

Seduce

Seduction can only happen when the relationship feels great. And again each person has a responsibility to seduce the other- no standing back waiting for the other to initiate. It takes courage and confidence to do this. Take the risk and do it – it links in with people needing to feel the 2 A’s.. as well as lusted after by their own partner. 

Go shopping - for some adult stuff

Any new shared experience makes a couple feel close and connected. So doing something daring such as shopping for sex toys  is part of the turn on process. When a couple push boundaries, such as buying unusual sex toys/using different sex toys, there is a sense of sharing  a secret which enhances their intimacy.

Get enough sleep

Allowing each other time alone- to sleep or talk on phone to friends, go for a run, hang out with friends, dance whatever , will give each person more willingness to share their bodies with each other. If there is a deprivation of self, resentment grows – which is a killer of sexual desire.

And take your time - nothing happens quickly..

Time is the most precious commodity today – porn provides people opportunity for quick sex so people are loosing the willingness to take time for sexual play- this in turn leads to relationship break down.

In summary, if you are healthy, have time out for yourself, process relationship stuff when it arises , invest in your own sexual, intellectual and emotional development, then  you will be  willing to take your precious time and spend it rescuing  your own relationship from the doldrums.

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If you have more suggestions  on getting out the doldrums , please mention them in comments here. 

I'd also love it if you'd share your thoughts on this article. 

Poetry with Paulann Petersen

I love this blog.

I've thought of shutting it down because of time constraints but every time I do I think of my gems stored in here. Like today's addition that I know I'll come back to time and again. On my last Poetry Friday session M. Pax left a comment the post with Kathryn Starbuck's poem introducing me to today's poet.

Thank you M. Pax I am indebted to you. 

I loved Paulann's style and thought I just have to let you know about her as well. Sacrament is a poem of hers that I ended up reading more than once. I hope you enjoy it too.

A Sacrament

Become that high priest, 

the bee. Drone your way 

from one fragrant

temple to another, nosing

into each altar. Drink 

what's divine—

and while you're there,

let some of the sacred

cling to your limbs.

Wherever you go 

leave a small trail 

of its golden crumbs.

In your wake 

the world unfolds 

its rapture, the fruit

of its blooming.

Rooms in your house

fill with that sweetness

your body both

makes and eats.

           —Paulann Petersen

Fame And Mis-Fortune

There are so many ways to kill yourself. 

And the famous seem to have intimate knowledge of them all. 

It’s not enough that young celebrities are falling all over themselves trying to see who they can beat in the DOD race but older ones seem to be holding their own too. 

Picture: Bing

Just this weekend I saw news reports that Heather Lockear refuses medical help with her prescription pill and alcohol addiction problem. This is despite the fact that she was rushed to hospital last Thursday due to an overdose of the same. You might remember this beauty from Dynasty, if you like me, aren’t too clued up with recent TV activity.

My point is, is it not enough that the Michael Jackson’s and Amy Winehouse’s of this world suffered the deadly consequences of this habit not too long ago? Or is it a case of: “ these things happen to other people but never to me” until that is, you find yourself looking down a deep pit of your own vomit desperately searching for the light at the end of that murky tunnel.

Perhaps I’m just too hard on them. 

After all I’ve never been and most probably will never be so obscenely wealthy that self destruction would seem a attractive source of excitement, a way to break the monotony that is a life of luxury. Because you see, when you have that much money everything that money can buy is at your disposal. So I imagine that subconsciously you might say “let me see just how far my invincibility reaches”.

On the other hand it could really be a coping mechanism from the pressures that come with having too much money. Afterall the late B.I.G did say in a song “more money more problems”. Problems that I will in all probability l never know or experience. 

Whatever the reason, no one seems to remember that as far back as time immemorial, the cost of your health has always been elusive. And as such it will remain.

Do you imagine in any way that you could fall prey to these misfortunes of fame should you wake up to find yourself nauseatingly wealthy one day?

My Resolutions List In Action

Yesterday I had a great break through.

I went out to do some wheelin' and dealin for the first time in almost a year and came home with one signed and one verbal contract. 

I also made some good progress with my old networks telephonically and everyone seems to be keen on a working relationship between us again so I have some business meetings coming up.

I am ever so encounraged. I feel as though this really is a year for new beginnings for me. 

Last year this time it seemed nothing I tried business wise worked and if I remember correctly, I was saying the same things and presenting myself and my business in the same way. 

Maybe it's because i'm making more effort communicate more with real people instead of my cyber world, hence Mondays post only coming on today ***tsk tsk***.

Or the recession really is no more and companies are spending more.

Perhaps the stars were just not in alignment in my favour.

Or God just got tired of my silent screams and decided its time for that break.All in His own time.

Whatever it is, it seems to be working friends and I am so glad. I hope you're having a bit of good fortune on your side too. I'm sure we could all do withsome for the year.